Was it ALL that? Sex and the City
Evaluating the unintentional and damaging messages of the romantic comedy’s depiction of women, success and sex.
Sex and the City mainstreamed the third wave of feminism for young white women. Aired in 1998 the sitcom/drama followed Carrie Bradshaw as she navigated friendship, romantic situationships, a shopping addiction and what it meant to be sexually liberated. Her friend group navigated sex and life under the dynamics of being women who were independent and sexually liberated within religion, within professional settings, within higher education and within older age groups. Their exploits were written in her column in the New York Star, passing along the hefty desire to follow in their footsteps of the pursuit to satisfy sexual, professional, emotional and romantic life goals and milestones. The show lasted six seasons at just under one-hundred episodes and impacted all 10.4 million viewers according to the Wall Street Journal.
Although this show aired what the possibilities could be for a woman on her own, shedding the expectations of women being baby makers, home makers, not as successful and the list continues, it also harmed the future generation of young women. One reason being the lack of healthy representation for balanced relationships as seen with the main character Carrie and her on again off again situationship turned husband Big. He never accepted her, and she struggled to fit his mold, often retaliating in sex benders, drinking benders and self-isolation. This was hard to watch nineteen years later, when the realization hits that Carrie was an authoritative figure and influence during the early two-thousands and within the storyline.
The second harmful trope of this seemingly lighthearted saga is that it rides heavily on the second wave of feminism, which focused on white upper-class women. Carrie and her friends are young and middle aged, white and wealthy, there is little to no diversity in main characters, akin to Nnedi Okorafor’s “Super Duper Magical Negroes'' theory, where someone of color is helpful, not as successful and just a dash stereotypical. 1998 was six years post the third wave of feminism’s start. This wave of feminism focused on moving past the heavy box of what it meant to be feminine and encouraged rebellion, standing up against harassment in the workplace, all while encouraging alternate expressions. This wave was about being a person, a human, and more than a traditional woman. The third wave of feminism also garnered notability for being intersectional, meaning inclusivity of all, no matter socioeconomic standing, sexual orientation, racial and ethnicity– you were included.
Aside from the glaring issues mentioned above, Carrie and Samantha are prime examples of unhealthy habits that represent the downside reality of hook-up culture. Hook-up culture is the modern-day cultural revolution. This redefined traditional relationships and empowered many men and women. But with great power comes great responsibility and no matter the person, sexual intercourse has emotional and physical side effects that take emotional maturity to be able to manage. “In a study of 270 sexually active college-age students, 72 percent regretted at least one instance of previous sexual activity”. This study shows that brief sexual encounters do not always have a positive effect. In seasons one, two and three, when Carrie is rejected by her interest Big, she immediately finds someone else to fill his place, sleeps with them, makes it known to Big and then promptly regrets it the next morning. The next scene is of her contemplating her actions, and even though it is in print, she cannot decipher her very unhealthy patterns of sex to fill emotional voids that ultimately hurt her in the long run.
These habitual and published articles to be read by the public of New York document Carrie having an unhealthy attachment style. This constant and incapacitating desire for a secure and intimate relationship with a man who constantly hides her, ignores her, neglects her, toys with her is alarming to say the least. Especially when she places takes fault for his missteps. When she faces a conflict, Carrie immediately goes inward, writes and isolates. She then cuts Big off, writes her experience and relationship off, and follows with self-destructive actions. This behavior tracks with the anxious attachment style according to Psych Central and it is one that is unhealthy and can be self-destructive.
“These habitual and published articles to be read by the public of New York document Carrie having an unhealthy attachment style."Safe to say that between the six-year airtime, the critically acclaimed series was regarded as a trailblazer for the modern woman. But I sit and reflect to say that, although yes, it had sex as less of a nuanced and taboo topic for aired television, it also was a poor example for the “ideal” or “goal” lifestyle of women. Two generations have been affected both positively and negatively, but I do worry as the show, much like the fashion of the early two-thousands, is making a comeback and influencing many. Sex and the City can be appreciated for what it was, but its flaws need to be just as publicly acknowledged as the praises, because it lacked inclusivity, reality and the need for a proper example of female sexual liberation.
And in Carrie Bradshaw style, I beg to question: what would that example actually look like?
Sources:
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2013/02/ce-corner
https://www.history.com/news/feminism-four-waves#third-wave-1990s
https://psychcentral.com/health/anxious-attachment-style-signs
http://strangehorizons.com/non-fiction/articles/stephen-kings-super-duper-magical-negroes/
